Last week I was sick. Just allergies, nothing major. Allergies tend to impede professions that require a lot of speaking though; such as teaching. So one day after I coughed in front of my students and one yelled “your eyes are crying!” I decided I should go to the doctor.
I got out my little medical directory that we received with our healthcare cards, and started looking up places close to my piso. Turns out there is an allergologist (?) but they are only open Mondays and Wednesdays from 4-7 . How Spanish of them.
Once I settled on a place, I searched it on yelp.es, and the yellow pages just to be sure about the number and location. You’d think by merely living in Spain, my Spanish by now would be awesome- however, 4 days a week I have to pretend I don’t know Spanish at all. So sometimes I still feel thrust into Spanish speaking mode; especially on the phone? Well this woman talked FAST. So typically the easy part is saying your name. Alas, my name is not Alejandra Gomez Rodriguez, or Inez Vaquero Ramirez. Spelling Campbell and explaining yes there is a P and a B. P like PAMPLONA?! SI!
B and V also sound exactly alike to me in Spanish, so i’m sure that went over well. Then it turns out I had called some emergency hotline or some health program that I’m not a part of because she couldn’t find me. I was like yeah, I know, it’s my first appointment?
She told me that I drove her crazy (me vuelvas loca!), said vale a few times, and I hung up really fast. Turns out someone was filming me while this happened.
I’m getting a haircut on Friday, and all I know is that dread locks take more than one appointment to make and that’s the worst thing I can think of happening.