“So, you must tell us, will you be back next year?”
(in my head YES)
Out loud: “I’m not sure….”
Why did this happen? Because I’m an enigma even to myself. It makes life more difficult, but ever more interesting.
I have to decide if I’m going to do this Auxiliares program for another year ASAP. Last week, or last month would have been a good time to decide. I’m not procrastinating on this. I’m just afraid. One of my wiser students told me if I think “what if?” I will go crazy. I told him, yes this is true, but I think it all the time anyways….
I have taken a lot of things into consideration and in the end, the things I considered had nothing to do with my real wants. I thought about turning 25 next year still acting like a college kid running around, not knowing how to cook, always choosing the wrong bus, and not going to the next level with my education.
Is it true that “age ain’t nothing but a number?” I know that’s what all the girls that date Hugh Hefner say. It applies to me too. I’ve always been a late bloomer. I decide slower. My thoughts are like honey.
When I said “I’m not sure” out loud even though I was certain of my answer, I merely didn’t want to offend the school I work at and say….”Yes, but maybe I don’t want to be here again.”
I LOVE Logrono, and La Rioja. So much. But, there is such a lot of world to see. Time, years, days, seconds, are passing so quickly recently that I would hate to look back and think “what if I had gotten to know another city and loved it even more?”
The rest of my life is for work. In true late bloomer style, I’ll probably have my first “real job” when I’m thirty, maybe get married even later, maybe maybe maybe.
Everyone is in a rush to do those things; so maybe that means it’s better to do them sooner. I’d like to think those people are wrong. (Just an opinion, don’t be offended. Do what works for you.)
Although I’m not enamored with the actual “work” that I do at my school’s daily, my private lessons and the life I have made for myself here are the true appeal. I have met some of the best people, and I wouldn’t mind doing a slow paseo with them forever and growing up only to sit in front of the Reina Sofia in Madrid in a fur coat with a small dog, smoking a few cigs.
My new favorite thing has been my “art class.” I put it in quotes because it’s not officially a class. I just go to a studio and the owner/artist walks around and helps people, but really allows you to do whatever you want.
Imagine me sketching my childhood dog from memory and forgetting how to draw the mouth and adding lips instead while the man next to me is painting with oil on canvas a beautiful landscape….It entertains us both equally I’m sure.
I also started sketching the photo above to ultimately make into a small painting. I would love to leave Spain with a few great original works. I’ll start taking requests on paintings of any photos I have taken my dear family members reading.