sex toys, knives, and cracked toilets

This title might lead you to believe I turned into a European sex slave. Right off the bat: NO. I know some of you have seen “Taken” but I promise I’m not in that movie. Those 3 words/phrases actually all have to deal with life lately working at my two primary schools.

I don’t have a specific reason why I haven’t written a lot about my daily teaching here. One could subconsciously be privacy. Another is that it’s either boring or completely inappropriate; but now i’m caving because I feel that as my time here comes to an end I have a more succinct way of explaining some of my experiences.

1. Spanish children have the most elaborate pencil cases I have ever seen, and they never seem to have all of the things they need in them- namely PENCILS TO WRITE WITH.

2. I’m really good at reading stories.

3. It’s okay to tell a child they are a disaster. Their feisty-ness has it’s good and bad points.

4. I don’t know if I’ve made a difference at all…..

5…except that I’m certain all of my students know how to say “Hello Teacher Emma, you are very beautiful!” AND “I’m fine, thank you and youuuuuuuu!?”

6. Discipline: “put your hands on your head” “stand behind your chair” “Get out of here.” Yes, the hallway- the exact place where their foolish not paying attention self wants to be. Great.


Now for the juicy stuff.

Sex toys. Namely, the vibrating cock ring that was discovered casually during my 30 minute stint with a 2nd grade group. The “reason” she had it was because her father works at a pharmacy and….anyways, it gave the teachers a good laugh at break when we turned it on and watched it wiggle around the table.


Knives. Apparently, one day a Pakistani student brought a knife to school and whipped it out on someone during recess. This students teacher said she spoke with their uncle about the incident and their uncle was proud of them. Oh, my… Where does one go from there in the conversation? Seriously, someone tell me the answer because all I heard from the other teachers were low key racist comments.


Cracked toilet. How does a child under the age of 12 rip a seat off the toilet, and crack the lid in half? If you carry said toilet seat around the school and go into all of the classrooms with it asking, you will get a lot of creative answers. That’s what I witnessed today at school anyways. It was cool though because  before that I was only busy calculating all the shoes that I can’t buy and making weird faces caused by swallowing yawns, so I was just as thrilled as the kids to see the principal walk in holding something your butt is supposed to be on. I almost don’t care who did it, but I don’t want to get on the culprits bad side and wake up with a black eye and no hair.

I wouldn’t mess with Teacher Emma

I only need to survive 2 more weeks with the lil monsters, but I think after a week like this I’m ready for anything.


un beso



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