Month: August 2015

Doing good by doing nothing

“You need to breath through your nose to get the Nitrous.”

Well, as it turns out all of this is happening precisely because I can’t really do that. But when it comes down to sucking up some drugs to not feel pain, I’ll give it my best shot.

The first tooth comes out and the surgeon literally says “WOW”

I think it was in there good and deep. Now it’s just a hole for my mashed potatoes and smoothies to slide in and out of.

What got me through the whole ordeal was the fact that I am in the year 2015 and laughing gas and other such numbing and potent drugs are available, so I got over the minimal discomfort real quick. Honestly the only time I shed a tear- actually started sobbing- was when I got the bill at the end.  Insurance help me please! xoxoxoxoxo

Another thing that helped me through was the occasional assurance that I was ‘doing great.’ Doing nothing at all.

Luckily before all of this happened, I got to spend a little quality time with the one and only little honey bunches of love Walter! Seeing his face through snap chat really helped me through the pain of not being able to eat for 3 whole hours while I had gauze in my mouth and was drooling blood.

walter eyes walter nugget walter

I know these kinds of procedures might cause one to lose their appetite, or sleep for so long they forget about food for a bit, or EVEN be inspired to go on a juice cleanse because of all the dietary restrictions. However,  moments after recovering from the sticker shock I was pretty hungry. You want what you can’t have right? A smoothie didn’t quite do the trick. Ideally some cheese cake slices will go down real easy and i’ll just float off into a squishy white dreamland.

yummy recipe

The recipe of my dreams above in either People or Usweekly. Very legit sources and news. I’m sure Scott will be sober by the time I put on my dream fall coat.

The best (season) is yet to come.

red coat fall coat fall outfit ………..and then I”ll stand on a bridge and drink a $5 dollar latte. ahhhh



No beef jerky or caramel

I’m holding back from taking an ibuprofen until I cannot stand the pain. While i’m no herbalist (Like these people), I don’t want to grow to depend on something that destroys my liver when I also depend mostly on wine for solace and strength.

I didn’t foresee myself making this a public announcement but It’s also not private because as soon as I open my mouth the world shall know that I have braces. After a long hiatus from the orthodontist I reached a point where it would not be wise to wait any longer, and (thank god) my vanity from college has mostly disappeared.

When I first told people about my decision to get wired up, I often got the comment that my “teeth are fine”. Two things are happening there….

A. They are being nice

B. They just don’t know the complexity of my mouth.

It’s really a combination of both. My teeth are mostly fine because they are not super crooked to the untrained eye; and yet look a little closer and there are paragraphs worth of problems. Pages. Dentistry students will study me. They probably do?!

Had to go clear. I am an old person.

Had to go clear. I am an old person.

The real issue has to do with my jaw, and in order to fix that up properly my teeth have to be in the proper position as well. So in a year give or take- probably give with my luck– I will be able to do things like breathe with my mouth closed and take normal bites of things and have two good sides for photos.

I thought that I would be a lot more depressed about wearing braces, but as a person who might as well be 45 years old, nothing will change considerably. For example: I am unable to answer the question “what is your favorite bar/ go to hot spot?” without lying or naming a place that I have been to twice. My social life is (mostly) not ruined. I would have been watching “Four Weddings” in my PJ’s anyways!

While I pondered over the decision in the days leading up to metal mouth 2015/16, I bought a cheesy self help type book about different important life things. Turns out my favorite chapter is on spirituality which is strange for me. It focuses on the aspect of being a good person to yourself and to others every day, and that it’s really not that hard to do. Hold the door. Compliment someone. Say please and thank you and mean it.  Be grateful. All of those things that most people know about, but often forget to do.
girls guide

It helped me remember that as long as I am confident and happy with my decision, the people around me will likely be accepting of it. So far so good.

I’m still not sure how the whole teaching high school thing is going to go, but fingers crossed I’ll at least relate better to my other students with braces and we can help each other out after lunch when we have crumbs stuck in our teeth. Lord help us with our 5 minute flossing process.

So while picking spinach out of my teeth and getting carded at Trader Joe’s, most of my other friends will be getting engaged, married, having babies and going out and meeting other people that look like adults and don’t ponder weather red wine will stain their brace face.

I am of course so happy for them. I was a late bloomer anyways, so I’ll just be doing my thing and catch up in a year or two.

bachelorette 2 bachelorette

With the lovely bride to be!

In the meantime I need to start planning for the upcoming school year beyond how I will brace (he he) the topic of adult orthodontia. My hope is to follow the philosophy of my new found favorite poem related to teaching.


I’m thinking that I should get it framed and put it by my desk for those days when I just want my students to know everything that I’m talking about and they are in the clouds thinking about flaming hots.

So far I’ve had no desire to eat caramel as long as I have salted caramel gelato. Whoever said that not being able to chew would help you drop a few pounds does not know how many calories are in soft foods.