Last time I checked in I was still uncovering clues as to what “June” meant to my orthodontist. He said the beginning of June. But then he said I will “graduate with my students” so I was like…damn, when do they graduate? But then he said maybe even by the end of this month. This month is May BTW. I’m talking about getting my braces off BTW.
Let’s just say, nobody knows how many days that I’m counting, but I am counting down.
I am also counting down to the end of the school year, which us CPS teachers can now accurately do. Somebody came around and thought it would be a good Idea to go until the bitter end, and I think we can all agree that the kids need it and the teachers(*) would have needed a little more warning and money to prepare for the loss of those final paychecks (*me). More proof we’re all in it for the ca$h!
As you can see, I can’t even keep a cactus alive until June, so there’s a reason we get “summer off”
During those joyous months of debt accumulating anxiety, I tried applying to a couple of summer jobs. I didn’t come across much, mainly because I have no other skills aside from teaching Spanish, inventing smoothie recipes and buying things on amazon prime. I was also being a little snot and refused to consider anything that had to do with Spanish, children, students, school, children, babysitting, uhg. #nogracias.
Well a miracle happened and a brewery decided to hire me. One excerpt from our phone interview: “Can you name some breweries in Chicago?”
“Lagunitas.” “Yep, any others”
“Two Brothers is something I see at the store.” “Well, no. That’s in _______” (I forgot, but it’s in Illinois).
“Well hey pretty close, same state…, well so yeah then I’m not going to embarrass myself any further”
Aside from that, I’m not a moron and I’m fun. I was so excited when I got my gear and employee handbook that I ran home in the rain and laid everything on top of myself and took this flattering photo for you all to enjoy. And now I guess you know where I work.
Back to my teeth/jaw update. I’m pretty sure I will be living out my days with a numb lower lip and chin. Could be worse. That’s the risk you take. It’s not like I was a professional food taster. Probably could have been. Now we’ll never know.
I had captioned the photo on the left something along the lines of “can’t wait to compare week 8 to month 8!” Well here ya go self!
Mouth before surgery/braces. Mouth at month 8 (closer to 9) post op. I think I can see the differences in my lips and chin. Slight of course… but also my nose.
And finally, it’s hard to catch a good selfie these days, so that’s just scraggly me at the end of a relaxing day of teaching. The one one the left is the day that I got my braces on a year and a half ago. I think I look a lot less tooth-y if you catch my drift. Obviously my surgeon went ahead and tucked my upper jaw back into my face more. That’s the technical way of explaining it.
In other news, I deleted my Instagram off of my phone for a little social media cleanse. It’s only been a week now and I think I’ve lost weight and gained self esteem. I was getting so obsessed with looking at all of the healthy meals people were making and all of the workouts that they were doing that I was just bumming myself out and making myself worse. I was literally COUNTING calories. Waste. Of. Time. To.The.Max. I’ve also had snap chat off of my phone since I got my iPhone which was months ago. Haven’t missed it.
But don’t worry folks, I’m not better than you. I’ve left my house just a handful of times today and I just wrote this blog so that there was enough space in between me eating my lunch, taking a nap, and having dinner. The only reason that I may be slightly better is because this morning I moved my oven and fridge and sucked up all of the mysteries that were lurking underneath them. If you call it a black jelly bean, it’s a black jelly bean.