Classic February

I bought a candle at Target today after school called “classic” which is a blend of mahogany, tangerine and vanilla. I guess I could find a way to interpret that as being “me” ….woodsy, less common but just as flavorful orange, too nice? Ehhh, better not. Smells decent though. Also, did I go to Target to buy a candle? Of course not

This has been anything but a classic February for me. Living alone is just a breeze and a dream. Time in that sense is whizzing by. It’s already been two months which feels like a lot and a little amount of months. I feel pretty settled aside from the fact that I have no mixing bowls or pans to bake things in. I just put everything in foil and then I feel like a jazzy mom in a foil commercial that is like “All right gang, no clean up!” but then the camera goes off and there are still like 900 other dishes that were somehow used to make chicken in the oven. In foil. Also mug cakes are a thing so it’s like, why change?

It’s been 7 months since my surgery now, and to absolutely sound like a broken record, I still have no feeling in my lower chin/lip area. I’m less prone to spilling but I’m super careful. It’s also not like I am/ was/ ever will be putting lipstick on on the go without a mirror. That is the person I WISH that I was but will never be.

Jetting off to a meeting in lipstick. So grown up.

Today as my students practiced the future tense I was like “quick, how old you will you be in 10 years!?” and after a little bit of math prompting (Me saying the only possible ages…24-28) I was like “wow, you’ll be like me!”

Except they were writing things like you will be married, driving a cool car, you will live in a nice house, you will eat in and out burger (big dreamers) etc… All of the things that you think will happen, and honestly do happen for most people.So yeah, everyone gets an A.

Also funny to see the boys imagining themselves as married men and looking absolutely horrified. I reminded them that they have a choice….

Below, an artifact. I got some tips to not grade things I can’t read, or hand it back and say  to do it again…but I myself have terrible…mostly illegible handwriting that my students try to take notes from. #sorry.
grading

Other updates in my life include my trainer slowly becoming a person that I reference a lot which feels like a friend, but I’m not sure. I have conquered certain machines and exercises that I didn’t even know existed and I hope to have an actual leg muscle poke out by the spring. Ideally both legs. I don’t know if I have a leg role model, but I’m about to look one up and get back to you. My life model is John Legends wife because…

This is the first year of teaching where I not only feel like I can have an outside life- but sometimes I really have one. I workout. I get dinner with friends- DURING THE WEEK (It’s happened at least twice). I’m not constantly stressed. I should probably be more stressed out all things considered, but I’m going the no stress route for the time being. For example I’ve already hit my budget for February and there are quite a few days left. I was doing a lot of #treatyoself.

And everyone’s favorite update, my big smushy face. I thought I had/have an eyeball problem since as you will note my eye on the right side is squinty (or one half eye size smaller). I can only assume it is because I have more cheek over there. I think that’s unrelated to surgery and I just have a weird ass face, so if you are getting this surgery worried you will end up crooked, that’s literally only me.

Fun fact is that not many (or potentially 1%) of people knew that I could not breathe with my mouth closed before this whole process. Now I can really see that in the picture on the left. I can see how hard it is for me to have my mouth closed to smile. Also if you’re not me, you may not see any difference at all, which is especially fine considering that you are not me.

Also can we get a slow clap for how hilarious Alliance bakery is?

alliance

Loving the neighborhood and exploring, but also ready to take a nap until April 10th.

xoxo

Advertisements

Your story

Today I’m feeling a little bit of Hamilton, a dash of a feel good e-mail, and a pinch of reflective on why I’m a big baby about getting evaluated.

I hope you will go out and let stories happen to you, and that you will work them, water them with your blood and tears and you laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom.

– Clarissa Pinkola Estes 

I usually get pretty depresso after getting observed at work. I’m sure everyone goes through that feeling because I know of very few people that expect to give or get feedback along the lines of “great job, keep doing what your doing because you are a perfect angel.” But on the other hand, it probably couldn’t hurt to say?

I mean, that’s my mentality when I workout – which is totally a thing now that I live across the street from a gym-AND JOINED IT. I’m as pleased as can be that I actually arrive at the gym, in a semi cute workout outfit and last for a whole hour. The actual workout boils down to about 30 minutes but I stretch it out because it’s like “well, I’m already here…might as well roll around on this yoga mat in some form of stretching ab laying pose.” Plus an hour just seems like a better amount of time.

When I joined the gym they did that thing where you get a free training session, so it’s like damn, pressure, better do it. It’s free. But I did the usual like Oh no, we have to reschedule approximately 4 times. Then last night I forgot to text back confirming our session today so he was going to cancel if I didn’t reply. So when I replied I was like, I totally understand if you want to cancel and never reschedule. And he was like no worries, see you at 8.

OH. SNAP.

Trapped. But here I am, feeling literally amazing (pronounced a la Chris Traeger from Parks and Rec).

Image result for chris traeger

We did start talking about my “fitness goals” which I couldn’t help but laugh. So I pulled some stuff out of my butt from the past about how I used to run 5ks and I did the shamrock shuffle which is an 8k. So the trainer tried to dig a little deeper, figuring I like running, so he asks…

“Cool, why did you decide to do 5ks?”

me: “Because I don’t think anyone should run any farther than that. I never want to run a marathon.”

trainer: Starts talking about the movie 300 and running, and ancient Greece.

me: ……(in my brain remembering that my actual new years resolution was to become a person that drinks more bourbon). 

 

We ended up getting along great though, and he is super knowledgeable and showed me all of these creepy pictures of him competing in body building competitions. I didn’t think we were close enough yet to ask why you have to dye yourself orange to participate,  but I ended up purchasing some more sessions with him, so I will keep you all posted.

In other news my lower lip and chin are still trying to drive me nuts by remaining tingly. However, I don’t have to eat with a mirror anymore. I still find the occasional dribble on my chin, but I’m more comfortable in how to manage my bites. I have stopped taking selfies because I’m waiting until I actually notice more of a difference in my face and the differences have been so slight that I don’t want to get frustrated. It is good to look back where it all started though.

In way other news I got bored one night and actually clicked on a Facebook ad because they can read into your soul and know your deepest thoughts that you don’t even know that you have and decided to try this thing called stitch fix. I got my first package and let me tell you, it did come at a good time when I needed my spirits lifted, but I really geeked out more than I usually would over clothes. If you know me at all, I actually HATE shopping. It’s so weird. I can’t explain it. I like having clothes and I’m into style and what not but I have approximately zero endurance. Grocery shopping is my jam. I go down every aisle. Twice.

Anyways stitch fix is like having a personal stylist for poor-ish people. You take a little quiz and then you say if you have any specific wishes for that month or however often you want to do it and then they send you stuff they think you might like. You just have to decide if you want to buy it and then you send the rest back. Super easy, fun, cool, exciting, etc.

I’m going to sign off before I lose this weird workout momentum that I got that made me feel excited at the thought of cleaning my apartment. PS Living alone is the best thing that anyone can do in their life ever. If you missed that experience you seriously need to move out of your house that you share with your husband or wife and be like, look, we can still be married but this is super important. Bye.

Big shout out to all of the women, children, cute dogs, men, and everyone else (half women, whole martian, clowns, etc.) marching today. Power to the people.

Image result for see the bigger picture quotes

Image result for borges quotes on time

Great decisions

I have had some very “if you give a mouse a cookie” moments lately. It’s a technical term that I use to describe realizations regarding things that one cannot do. For example, one cannot make pasta without a pot to boil the water. A strainer is also a luxury item in an emergency, but really pretty helpful when making pasta.

So I get to Target (#dangerous) and I head towards the aisle housing the pots and pans. En route to get my little pot, I realize that I need a dish towel if I plan on drying the pot afterwards. And it should be cute because it will be displayed. Once I get the pot (is there another word I could be using? I’m not talking about drugs, but it could seem that way out of context), I  realize that I may also need to uncork my wine that I will likely drink with the pasta. And once I see that, I see a lovely turquoise can opener. I need it to be top of the line because I have had full on giving up on eating experiences opening cans. Easy is a problem you can throw money at.

So this experience continued on until I had to make two trips  from car to apartment, one of which included various stops and handle adjustments and hipster stares.

As I lamented the fact that until two days ago, I didn’t even own silverware, my cousin said, “yeah, but you lived in Spain? Would you take that away to have silverware?” #wisdom.  I’m not entirely sure that I can still use that as an excuse though, because although my memory doesn’t serve for much, Facebook likes to remind me that Spain happened about 4 years ago. Am I still within the window of using that as an excuse as to why I have as many belongings as Ron Swanson? The thing is that I’ve always had roommates. I always counted on them to have the stuff, and they delivered. Again, not a drug reference.

It’s only been three days but I count living by myself among the top three decisions of my life. The other two being going to Iowa and selecting La Rioja on a whim. All of these decisions were arrived at with very little thought. I think I probably convinced myself and others around me that there was a lot of deep thought, but there wasn’t. I won’t necessarily advocate for  living your life without thinking things through, but sometimes it’s not worth all of the extra stress. I have anxiety about other really useless things, so it balances out.

I haven’t taken many photos of the new place yet since it’s still a work in progress, but I can share one snapshot, and then other photo updates.

img_20161231_135259_781img_20161230_193145

 

I made it through the first week of break warding off the inevitable sickness that comes when my body realizes it can be “at rest” and now I have used the first day of 2017 to research pet adoption, apply to adopt a bull dog (oops?), eat as many emergen-c tablets as the bottle allows and slam throat coat tea as if it tasted good.

Tomorrow I will finally have cable and official internet. Currently ‘borrowing’ from Alliance bakery. Plan on  being a loyal customer and good neighbor, so it’s fine. I’ll probably also attempt to not die in my laundry room that looks like the set of the movie Saw.

P.s- Jaw update: Still numb in my lower lip and chin area, but not as bad as before. I can eat without a mirror but I still get the occasional dribble so I have to just check  myself often. I do get tingles when I move my mouth around so I’m taking that to be a good sign. I haven’t officially hit the 6 month mark, so fingers crossed that my nerves give me a special anniversary gift of growth.

A trip down memory lane.

Week 19 update- aka about 4 months

When people have children it seems they become the type of people to say “My child is 900 weeks old”

And childless people are left calculating exactly what the heck that means in terms of the way everyone else measures their age-years. So is he…3?

I started thinking about it because my sister has announced to the “world” that she is expecting a little baby boy! img_20161119_134501

I was “team girl” but in terms of the money that will be left in my bank account after not buying all of the adorable bite sized girl outfits, I have rejoiced with “team boy.”

img_20161124_102216

Looks like our very own prince Walter will have to start being a little nicer to his tia loca if he wants the amount of love and attention he is used to. I pretend like I will reject him, but he is irresistible. Just look at this cozy photo of us watching the Thanksgiving Day parade!

And in other news I finally have some photos to update. I tried to get some where I am actually wearing makeup or at least looking publicly acceptable.

The photo on the left is probably from around week 6 or 7….and the photo on the right is from last week. The big difference is it is getting easier to smile with my lips closed without fully being able to feel them…and I also have 3 pounds of Sephora makeup on in the right side photo.

 

Below on the left is a photo from before surgery and before braces, and on the right is a photo that I took today and filtered the shit out of so that I looked soft and glow-y.

Something interesting that Dr. Reid told me regarding facial recognition is that if you think that I look the same, it is because you recognize me more by my eyes/ nose. That is the area of the face that you really look at, more so than the chin. I have come to this conclusion more than a handful of times on here, and I totally understand that I “look the same” but, I like to also recognize the fact that I am not the same…and actually don’t feel that I look the same as before. I know this because it is my face and not just a photo of it.

And I’ll leave you with a nice little brace face photo memory. On the left is the day that I got my braces on, and on the right was taken about a week ago in the RUSH bathroom. #photoshoot

Also I will be moving in less than a month! Where to?! Well, let’s just say I should probably buy a couple of beanies.

20161127_163825

xoxo

Turn to Lorca

To  say that I bottle up my emotions is equivalent to saying that Trump may have a light dusting of cheeto on his face. It all comes to the surface in one random moment and then I’m suddenly crying because my $30 face wash didn’t work miracles overnight and I still have the blackheads that I’ve had since I was 12 years old.

I distinctly remember that moment and age because someone asked me what I had on my nose. A pore-less classmate. I didn’t know. Nobody really knew yet- fast forward 16 years and most people have now had them and gotten rid of them. Not moi!

I also recently cried about not being able to move and having braces. As if those were new revelations. I didn’t actually cry about the election, but I did cry when I read some of my students tweeting about it. (Shout out English dept). I’ll paraphrase…

“I’m worried that my mom will be deported”   ….    “Will my family be separated”     …  “I was angry, and then I  was scared. Scared is worse.” 

But after all this time of knowing myself, the tears will likely come on a day  that I am running late to work and realize that I have to get gas.

Wednesday was a really weird day at school (to say the least) and I have never heard so much silence in my classrooms- even when I beg for it. So I turned off the lights put on “depresso music” which then for everyone’s sake I decided to change to golden oldies. By 8th period the depresso had dissipated and we went with banda/ Justin Bieber (for all of 2 minutes).

The feeling of what is to come turns me into a ball of numb more than anything. I watched a lot of episodes of Parks and Rec and that was awesome because I cracked up and felt better. Ron Swanson is hilarious.

The usual morning ritual of  reading the news isn’t really appealing right now, so I put on a black turtleneck and thought of my favorite poet. The person with the most understanding and ability  to encapsulate sadness and beauty that I know of; Federico Garcia Lorca. Thank you Iowa Spanish department. Thank you Spain.

〽️ Federico García Lorca                                                                                                                                                                                 Más:

Federico Garcia Lorca:

The most terrible of all feelings is the feeling of one´s hope having died. Federico Garcia Lorca:

And Pablo Neruda…

federico garcia lorca frases - Google Search:

I also had a  nice juicy free morning that I used to go to a consult about a dental implant. This guy (periodontist?) was like an instagram vision of hot dude hipster professionals. Nice hair, bearded to perfection, kind of broken nose, probably from wrestling a bear in the woods. I was like WTF?! I thought you were Christine, a nice, ideally elderly woman that I would have had no issue with telling me that I have a surprise pocket of 3 wisdom teeth (yes, I’ve had them  pulled before), and looking at me in my most vulnerable state in harsh horrific lighting.

Image result for hot hipster beard This person is not allowed to work in the medical field.

Anyways, I have to wait to get  my braces off to get the implant done, and one of the reasons is that I can’t currently open my mouth wide enough to fit the drill inside. #IDIED #BRIGHTRED.

img_20161023_093112

But look, from  a distance we would make  a great pair.  #lookingoffintothedistance #inthesamedirection

Still not winning with the before and after photos, since I feel like my hair and overall look is way better “before” but clearly my teeth are like WAY better after. And one final snaggle just to get you through the tough times…

2016-10-17-13-12-29

I’ll post more pics as soon as I get a makeover…so probably 2017.

Ps- This is spot on!

http://www.vox.com/first-person/2016/11/10/13580582/leslie-knope-donald-trump

xoxo